Billions From Nuts, Veggies, and Two-Buck Chuck

I’m sorry to hear the “health food” grocery Chain Trader Joe’s is an evil maniacal business. In fact, they’re so very greedy and sinister that they won’t even go public. We’re trying to eat healthier, and they’ve just moved one in down the street. Oh well, back to Sam’s Club, I guess.

A Saintly Salmagundi: Could A Catholic Vote For the Anti-Christ?

Errol Morris: Election ’04

Errol Morris, the “genius” director (come on he tapes people talking into a camera) created these move-on anti-bush shorts. He lets “lifetime” republicans, or those who voted for Bush in the last election, rant on camera about why they’re voting for Kerry this time around. I watched ‘em about three months ago, but watched them again recently and was way more unimpressed with their arguments, nor the “normal dudes” these people proport to be.

1. War breeds um, more war? Well, not always. Not always if you want to be technical. Ever heard Vietnam was hideous but it didn’t breed “more war.” What wars were born out of WWII? Geesh. If ads like these are the best moveon pac can do, then blah.”
2. This woman is insane. No, seriously, I think she escaped from the nut-house, murdered a family of four, ate a litter of small kittens, and then filmed these shorts.
3. This guy can’t think of a single way that Bush has been good for the country. Okay okay, I’ll play your game. I’ve had similar stumped moments too. Like I couldn’t think of a single reason why.sd,fmlskdfjs dflskdjf WTF are you trying to win over the socialist party with this?
4. Oh MY WHAT IS HE WEARING HE LOOKS LIKE A CHIPEWEA CASINO CLOWN.
   
5. I’M DONE WITH THESE SHORTS BUT NOT WITH CAPS LOCK!
   

Bill Maher has always got under my skin. If you ever watched his show, and view the world the way that I do, you’d probably feel the same way. On politically incorrect he was very very good at choosing guests to debate him who were week willed, loose spaghetti debaters. In a recent interview in Canada, he tiraded against the U.S. while safely among liberal Canadians. He’s not so much anti-u.s. or un patriotic as he is pro “everyone who doesn’t think the way I think on these issues and would vote for Bush is an ignorant red-neck moron.”

He says, To me, to me it’s a real dividing line between people of intelligence and %u2013 not that there haven’t been some intelligent people who are religious. I mean, T.S. Elliott was a great poet and he became a very devout Catholic%u2026 But I always call religion a neurological disorder. I really do believe that. I mean it’s not criticizing. I’m just saying if you took religion out of it and somebody went to a psychiatrist and said you know I believe in you know this crazy, illogical thing, the shrink would say, well you have a neurological disorder. And you need to really get therapy or take a pill.”

Firstly, Bill, T.S. Eliot was Anglican. Secondly, around 96%* percent of the total world population believes in some sort of “higher power.” Heck, even 75%** of all scientists do. Therefore, it makes sense to me that the ones with the “abnormality” are the atheists. We should be treating these abnormal freaks with intense brainwashing and medication. According to my plan it’s even okay if their perscriptions are filled in Canada.

*Sawyer, Robert J. Calculating God. New York: Tor (2000); pg. 147.
**Religion Watch newsletter (1998-JUN, Volume 13, #8)

Luther’s lavatory thrills experts

Archaeologists in Germany say they may have found a lavatory where Martin Luther launched the Reformation of the Christian church in the 16th Century.